lizards n nazeefah

for the past few weeks, one of her bedtime ritual was to climb down fr the bed n open the bathroom door after she has had her 1st milk feed. last sat, her daddy was in there doing his biz so she said hello then decided to join him i.e. poo poo as well. on sun, she pushed the door n realised daddy wasn't there so she came back to bed n decided to walk back to the bathroom . this time round, the lizard decided to make its presence known. she got a shock of her life and ran shrieking away to the bed. even daddy who was in the lounge cud hear her without the monitor.unfortunately this incident hasn't recurred so i dunno if she is actually scared of lizards. but the good outcome is that she no longer climbs down fr the bed.

managed to open her mouth n see how her teeth are erupting. her canines have all erupted but not fully. her right lower molar hasn't fully erupted yet. reckon this is why her appetite has dwindled down. at least today, she had 3 spoons of oats n 3 small bits of toast for brekkie. drank 100mls of water n 165 mls of formula. had a few bites of potatoes n carrots for lunch. now she is having her nap..hopefully it will b a good one. becoz she didn't have much to eat yesterday, i fed her more formula which resulted in her vomitting it all last nite b4 bed. she slept thro the nite but i cudn't sleep since i was scared that she was going to have a temp. Alhamdullillah she is ok so far and her daddy is back tonite.

life..worth it?

today has been one of those days. started out w lieverd waking up at 4:30 am n refusing to sleep till 5:30am. she woke up balling her eyes out at 8am coz she needed a poop. decided to poop lying down so it leaked onto our bed. then refused brekkie. feeding her formula was a nightmare. then she had a short nap, woke up w dark rings around her eyes indicating that she needed more sleep. refused lunch. hubbs txted that he needs to fly to kl tonite instead of tmrw morn.boy oh boy! my cooking today was such a disaster since i had NO mood whatsoever to do it. if i wasn't fasting, i prob wud have not cooked. that what i usu say but i end up cooking anyways.

i am so exhausted beyond words. i think i really need to sort out some sort of playsch for lil one, at least once/week. i need to be away fr her for a bit. to date, we have not been apart fr each other except for when she was born since she was in the neonatal care unit. sometimes i feel that i brought this on to myself since i was guilty and still feel guilty that she had 2 spend 5 days in that unit that i refuse to be apart fr her.becoz i am so tired i can't see n enjoy the joy that she brings to our lives. i love 2 c her play w her dad but since he is travelling a lot n also comes home late fr work..this doesn't happen often as well.

moving to miri was suppose to give us more family time but i don't think it has. if being in kl doesn't give me such a headache, i wud love to b there instead of here. even going back to kl for short periods of time stresses me out soooo much. oh well! such is life. i just have to plod on and hope for a better future.

on my own

this is by far one of the VERY few times i am at home alone. lieverd is out w daddy getting our dinner. i rarely cook during weekends since i cook both lunch n dinner on most weekdays. i must say, i really do cherish the very few times i have to myself.

oops...they are back :)) anyways, quick update on lil one's progress

1. she can make 2 word sentences. her 1st sentence was daddys home (daddy is home).yes ... everything revolves around daddy. 1st word, daddy. shud i b surprised her 1st sentence is also about daddy :))
2. she loves yoghurt n cheese. so far, her ezcema has not really flared up much, Alhamdullillah.
3. her naps are shorter now..lasting 45 mins or an hour now esp during d weekends. if i am lucky, she has 2 hour naps mon to wed.
4. she dances a lot now but its so diff to take video of it.
5. loves swimming...went yesterday n today as we were going out 2 the market, she wanted to bring her float.

can't think of anything else at the mo. m a lil tired. swam 8 laps for the 1st time in 3 years. realised that i am sooooo unfit. was panting after the 1st 2 laps. well, insya Allah m planning to swim at least 1x/week and hopefully hubbs schedule lightens up a bit (wishful thinking on my part) so i can swim more often.

wesak....n baking

am so exhausted..due to whatelse, sleep deprivation la. lieverd has not been sleeping well the last few days n has had very short naps during the day. i reckon its becoz daddy is around so she feels its such a waste of time if she naps. she had a slight fever 2 nites ago, Alhamdullillah its gone now.her right lower molar has fully erupted and the others are coming thro. her canines are also making their way thro. they have pierced her gums already.

we're back to square one on feeding her formula. she is back to being fed by a spoon...oh well! at least she drinks it and takes 3 scoops day n nite. have introduced cheese to her. she loves it n so far her eczema hasn't flared up much. gave her yogurt today n she seems to like it. m now trying to wean her off my breast very slowly. m only allowing her to have breastmilk 1st thing in d morn, at nite n b4 her pm nap. so far, it has worked. getting her to drink more water as well.target it 2 years old. need to get my p back if not no sibling for her. pity her nanti..no one to play with.

4got about the fan oven option for my oven so have been baking without using it. no wonder all my baking has been pretty dry. must make sure i use the option next time n also use my mixer. Alhamdullillah, my cookies turned out ok. next time i can add raisins to them.

stormy winds..tailend of a typhoon ramusan

Alhamdulllillah our roof n house are intact n our neighbours' as well. lil gal had just under 3 hour nap so i thot of treating her. cudn't go swimming as the weather didn't look good so i thot i'll take her to the playground instead. didn't even realise the damage the storm caused till i txted hubbs wanting to take lieverd to pbc's playground. pbc is shut for 3 days due to damage. one of hubb's colleague had a tree fall onto his house, they are safe Alhamdullillah. in a way, i am glad that we are not staying at the camp, near the beach or have tall trees around our house.to read more about the destruction..here's d link, http://www.theborneopost.com/?p=35517. was at pbc on mon pm...watching the waves and admiring the view. lil did i know what was in store the next day. even on mon, parts of the playground was shut and the swings were repositioned.

i wud write more but i think i will take a nap instead. am fasting today n had a bz morn till now. hubbs working lunch was cancelled so needed to cook. lil one woke up a lil later today so my morn schedule went a bit off. Alhamdullillah i put the chicken in the fridge overnite..of not, hubbs wud have had telur goreng, nasi panas n kicap for lunch. doubt very much he wud object to that :)). lucky me, Alhamdullillah!

check out my facebook album. will upload some photos soon.

mother's day

happy mother's day to all that celebrate. hubbs decided we will not celebrate this occasion as he says anniversaries n birthdays are more than enuff to celebrate already :)) well...we can't stop lieverd if she wants to do something for us in the future.b4 i got married, i used to celebrate but now since hubbs' decision we have stopped.

lieverd is napping at the mo. Alhamdullillah, she can still nap thro the racket that the plumber is making in the kitchen. at long last our tap is being replaced..no need to use the spanner to turn the cold tap on n off, i hope.

the winds we really strong yesterday n roof skirting has flown away. hopefully it won't rain tonite as the contractor can only come tomorrow. we also have no hot water today..yes...looks like this house is crumbling :)). well..another 3 more years to go.

update on lieverd:
1. drinks formula fr a straw cup...yeehaaaa! no need to feed her w a spoon! insya Allah this will cont
2. can put on her own shoes..usually correctly
3. words: no, yes, wet, mary, i know, show, shoes, baby, kakak, mummy (at long last),chair, nose, head,more, hot, cold, mouth n a few more..these are the ones i have at the top of my head now
4. much to daddy's delight, she will do a golf swing when u ask her to play golf. sometimes she pretends she is putting the ball on a tee

will upload some photos on my facebook when we download them fr the camera.

my late grandmother

the day started early today. received a call fr s'pore. my grandma passed away at 1 am. this is what i hate about being away. but i am glad i managed to see her for the past 2 years after not seeing her for 6 years. in my hearts of hearts i know she is in a better place.

i miss her tarts. she made the absolutely deelish tarts i have ever tasted. she used to make one whole biscuit tin for me alone. till today, i haven't found any tarts that matches hers.my aunts used to try to kid me n pass off theirs for hers. but no way. i used to be sooo choosy about tarts but since she stopped making them, i do eat others but definitely not in the quantities i used to. yes....she loved to cook. she used to make sure we ate before we went out. in those days, most things in s'pore was not halal so she was scared we wud eat outside.suffice to say, i wud put on wt everytime i go back to s'pore. 1kg/week!!

when i was in uni, she started to have hearing difficulties.actually, we used to say she had selective hearing. she cud communicate w her grandchildren well.

everytime we went back for raya, as soon as we reached the carpark we can see her in front of the window waiting for us. she even did that when i went back every weekend while i was working in jb.

all the memories i have of her have come rushing back. i wish i cud see her one last time but unfortunately that is not possible.i am glad tho that nazeefah managed to meet her.

i miss her soo...