ons klein meisje is 11 months old

I can't believe that lil lieverd is 11 months old already. it has been a long journey full of the unexpected. on days like these when she behaves and has a long nap..i really feel bad for every cross word i have said n every negative thing i have done to her...verbally. no one told me that being a stay at home can be sooo hard.no..i take that back, my best friend finaz has applauded me loads of times that she will never b able to do what i am doing. sometimes i am sooo exhausted that i can't even b proud of her achievements. being a kiasu mum doesn't help, i guess. deep down i know nazeefah doesn't have a clue what her mummy is all about. there have been times when i will just sit n bawl my eyes out n she will just look at me. it's been tough..new place, new life actually. and it doesn't help when people keep implying that i am not feeding her. boy..its been pretty hard feeding her. most of my battles w her have been over food. there are times when i just want to give up and shove an orogastric tube down her just to get some food down. maybe if she was on formula i wudn't be that hard on myself then again she may refuse her formula and be back at sq 1. being patient is not one of my traits.

on the positive side, lieverd can:
1. wave and say hello
2. acknowledges other kids n the stray cat..yes! mummy needs to get her act together n bring her to the playgroup on weds
3. crawl and get into all sorts of mischief
4. hears the gate opening n knows that daddy's home
5. grin to greet daddy

gosh and many more which i can't think of at this point of time.

all in all, it has been a pretty tedious journey but i do look forward to the entire journey of her life..we love her to bits . Most important of all, we can't thank Allah enuff for the opportunity of having her in our life..our lil lieverd

Burning stove

Cooked up a bit of a storm yesterday for iftar. made puteri salat aka serimuka.didn't turn out as nice as it did last year but hubbs liked it (that's the most important fact). for mains, we had udang masak lemak cili api, vege n fried fish.still can't believe i managed it with b/feeding in btw. asked a couple of friends over as well. i really miss the dishwasher :))

lieverd defnitely wasn't such a happy bunny yesterday since daddy cordoned off both staircases so she was stuck in the living room only in addition to occasional glimpses of mummy fr the kitchen. she made sure i didn't leave her side after that..cudn't even go to the loo without her protesting:)) yup..she is definitely velcro-ed to me. must sort out the playgroup. she needs socialisation..

gonna hit the sack soon...still tired fr yesterday. but Alhamdullillah enjoyed it actually..it's been awhile since i can manage to cook like that. looking forward to next weekend..

Fav food

hmmmm..how do i do this without drooling n without having brownie points chopped off. considering i may not b able to do this any other time since hubbs is playing w lieverd so here goes..

do bear in mind that i am on a no seafood, no eggs, no nuts diet...reckon the list will go on n on n on..:))

1. yong tau foo..ampang shack
2. chee cheong fun..kopitiam in du
3. apam balik
4. durian
5. mangosteen
6. laksa johor
7. soto
8. lontong..the real one w banana leave, lodeh n sambal ikan bilis
9. tarts...grandma's
10. kek lapis betawi
11. puteri salat aka seri muka
12.poffertjes
13.oysters + tabasco
14.mussels
15. durum fr chicken doner, den haag
16. tagine
17. nasi kerabu
18. teh tarik..esp when i was pregnant
19. nasi ayam du n bkt bintang

... aiyo..got to stop la..drooling already..

zaza, if u r reading this..kfc in amsterdam, dam rak i.e. d one in front of bijenkorf..chicken pieces are halal :)) if not, try out chic cottage in leiden,the burgers are deelish. we emailed them to open a branch in den haag but they wanted to sell us a franchise so...

Ramadhan Al Mubarak..

yes...we have been touring the pasar ramadhan daily..so far, have managed to exercise control and not over buy kuih..

working vs stay at home mum

today is one of those days where i crave working soooo much. the financial independence n just able to be away fr nazeefah for a while. i love her to bits but i just feel drained out esp when it comes to feeding her. she was doing soo well then we went to kl and again everything went pear shaped. gave her fav today, pumpkin..but she rejected that too...

i really dunno..is it the travelling that makes her not want to eat..i really don't know. or being unsettled..or maybe it is just me..