life..worth it?

today has been one of those days. started out w lieverd waking up at 4:30 am n refusing to sleep till 5:30am. she woke up balling her eyes out at 8am coz she needed a poop. decided to poop lying down so it leaked onto our bed. then refused brekkie. feeding her formula was a nightmare. then she had a short nap, woke up w dark rings around her eyes indicating that she needed more sleep. refused lunch. hubbs txted that he needs to fly to kl tonite instead of tmrw morn.boy oh boy! my cooking today was such a disaster since i had NO mood whatsoever to do it. if i wasn't fasting, i prob wud have not cooked. that what i usu say but i end up cooking anyways.

i am so exhausted beyond words. i think i really need to sort out some sort of playsch for lil one, at least once/week. i need to be away fr her for a bit. to date, we have not been apart fr each other except for when she was born since she was in the neonatal care unit. sometimes i feel that i brought this on to myself since i was guilty and still feel guilty that she had 2 spend 5 days in that unit that i refuse to be apart fr her.becoz i am so tired i can't see n enjoy the joy that she brings to our lives. i love 2 c her play w her dad but since he is travelling a lot n also comes home late fr work..this doesn't happen often as well.

moving to miri was suppose to give us more family time but i don't think it has. if being in kl doesn't give me such a headache, i wud love to b there instead of here. even going back to kl for short periods of time stresses me out soooo much. oh well! such is life. i just have to plod on and hope for a better future.