ik erg boos

i really don't know how i am gonna go thro the rest of this confinement period. w a baby, time is used up quickly. w a toddler...its bz n tiring but the fact that one can't leave the house is getting to me.

poor lil gal..this week, she has her granny around. but when she plays outside, she wants me there. she asked me to wear my slippers.she actually took my shoes n put them near my feet to get me to wear them. bless her!

i really cannot understand the rationale behind being confined after a miscarriage. its punishment enuff to have lost your kids but being confined to 4 walls of the house w the memories..i think its plain cruelty. well...another test by Allah. just need to b patient..praying hard to Allah to help me thro this. have another month to go. well...actually will b going to kl next week. we bot the tix a few wks ago n they are non refundable. so rather than see the tix go to waste, will b making the trip. not sure if i am up to seeing ppl actually. the way i see it, no one can understand the pain of a miscarrage unless u go thro it.

even tho i accept that what happened is Allah's will n He is looking out for me but i am still getting head around the factors that brought this on. things that cud have been avoided.

whatever it is, I am thankful to Allah for Nazeefah, showing me that i can get pregnant without assistance n the fact that i cud have had twins.